Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
