i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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