Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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