can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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