If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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