Plan B is the new Plan A
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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