I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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