whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
