I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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