So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
