So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
only you would photoshop your dick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
