I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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