his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
