What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
