Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i love accidental penises.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
