i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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