if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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