I can't watch pbs sober anymore
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
