You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
