Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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