If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
