don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
