we have officially mastered the walk of shame
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
