A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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