return my video game
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
