Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
