she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
