Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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