I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
