Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I take back everything I said about communal showers
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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