I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
