She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm passing your future prison.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
