i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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