I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
