yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
