Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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