Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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