he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
