Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize