I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
