you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
