The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
