I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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