It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I need to align my fucking chakras
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
