just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
