Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
