My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
