eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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