Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
