So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
