This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
