Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We need to get me chipped asap
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
