She is in my trunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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