We named our party play list daddy issues
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
