I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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