Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
